


Searching Hearts

by FootballManiac



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-10 20:53:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13509588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FootballManiac/pseuds/FootballManiac
Summary: Tobin knows she has found that one special thing in Christen the moment she saw her on their first day in college. But what if life happens and suddenly it feels like Christen doesn't feel the same thing for her anymore? Will Tobin set her heart free and let it open for new beginnings or will she have faith in Christen and hang on?





	Searching Hearts

Tobin throws her head back laughing at the hilarious sight unfolding in front of her. She’s lazily slouching on the couch at the far edge corner of the steamy room. She has a half empty bottle of beer in hand while watching a swaying Allie chugging her seventh red solo cup of luke warm beer. Her fellow freshman has mistakenly accepted what seems to be a suicidal dare and already a lost battle even before it has started. That is, to face against The Drop-Dead Gorgeous Syd Leroux on a beer pong duel.

 

Tobin shakes her head and chuckles. Her best friend should have known better. Allie should have known that there is no way in both heaven and hell she’s going to defeat the infamous girl across the table who’s currently high fiving a bunch of drunk dudes cheering behind her. Nobody, guys and girls, from freshmen to seniors, can beat Syd in any form of drinking game. The only time the freshman Economics student lost was when she was paired up with a wasted Ash who would shoot the small plastic balls to everyone’s direction but to the plastic cups on the table. Other than that, Syd's individual record is as flawless as her skin is.

 

Syd seems to hold the alcohol tolerance of ten Germans or more combined. She can take in mixed drinks and not have a single problem with it, switching back in forth from beer to tequila to vodka to beer again like they're just sodas. She outperforms and outlasts everybody in parties. Tobin smirks, thinking the woman of the hour, yet again, isn’t called one of the campus’ “frat daddies” for nothing.

 

“Babyyy!” Syd squeals as her on and off boyfriend Dom sneaks his god-chiseled inked arms around her thighs and lifts her off from the ground. Dom crushes his mouth to hers, hungrily sucking the woman’s tongue while the crowd in the background cheers for them to keep the show going. His hand slides up to Syd’s bum, cupping and squeezing a cheek firmly.

 

The sight makes Tobin's internal organs cringe.

 

“Dom! Dom! Dom! Dom!”

 

“Yeah! Get it dude!”

 

“That’s my man! Show her who’s the real daddy in the house!”

 

The room roars in chants that are mostly coming from the football varsity players of the university.

 

Syd playfully pushes Dom away and hops off from him. She snakes her arms around his neck and tiptoes, slowly leaning forward, giving just enough space for her lips to ghost over Dom’s ear and he can feel her hot breath on his skin.

 

“Wanna go somewhere?" She whispers softly so no one may overhear despite the loud chants and blasting music.

 

Dom gulps a lump in his throat and wipes the beads of sweat that have accumulated on his forehead. He’s rendered silent and can only nod his head frantically in submission.

 

Tobin tears his gaze away from the scene, afraid that she might witness more PDA from the pair. She drags her eyes across the table. Allie and Bati are getting it on as well. Her friend’s back is pushed against the wall while Bati is shamelessly dry humping her front.

 

Tobin rolls her eyes and takes a swig of her now warm beer. She will need a lot of alcohol in her blood if she intends to survive the night from the horrid scenes around her.

 

“Having a blast, are you, Heath?” Tobin hears a sweet voice to her left call her name. She feels the soft cushion on her side dips as a lean body plumps down next to her and a firm shoulder bumps hers playfully.

 

“Yeah, cos these hets are definitely super fun to watch," She rolls her eyes again while finishing the last drops of beer off her bottle.

 

Pinoe chuckles and shoves another beer to her. Tobin puts her old bottle down to the side and takes her friend’s offer. _Thank god it’s cold._

 

“You tell me about it dude. I was at the balcony listening to this girl Ali has a class with.” The shorthaired blonde gushes out, taking a short sip of her beer and wiping the froth with the back of her hand right after. “God, wouldn’t she stop talking about her asshole basketball player boyfriend that she wouldn’t break up with most probably.”

 

It’s Tobin’s turn to chuckle, “What’s with you and your insane infatuation with straight girls?” She shakes her head, a toothed grin mocking her friend spreads across her face.

 

“Shut up. I am no way such that,” Pinoe defends herself. “I am just being friendly and accommodating to those poor girls who get basic treatment from basic dudes.”

 

“That’s the same thing you said about that girl who has the same comm class with Christen. And guess what, said girl ended up on your bed the next day," Tobin pokes Pinoe’s cheek.

 

“She needed a place to crush in. I was “accommodating” so what else could have I done, huh?”

 

"You dawg!" Tobin smacks Pinoe's arm.

 

They both chuckle as they bring their beer bottles to their mouths.

 

"You're the one to talk. Before Christen, you were falling for every white, single, straight girl that's within a 10 meter radius."

 

"What, it was just a phase. I know better now," Tobin halfheartedly defends herself mainly because she's dead guilty of her friend's accusation. 

 

“Oh speaking of Christen…” Pinoe trails. She’s wiggling her eyebrows at Tobin while jerking her head over her shoulder.

 

Tobin’s brows furrow in confusion, “Yeah, what about her?”

 

“The devil is coming over," Pinoe pats Tobin by the shoulder.

 

“Dude, I'm not abandoning you cos I'm not that kind of a friend, you know that. But I gotta get back to Ash and Ali at the balcony before they toss that girl over the railings. Told them I was only gonna use the toilet," The shorthaired blonde rattles. She gets up and smooths out the crease on her shirt as if it would make any difference. 

 

"See yeah later, Heath!” Pinoe yells as she hurried herself to the direction of the sliding door, leaving a stoic figure of Tobin behind.

 

Tobin sighs defeatedly. She wants to call her friend back and beg her to stay and keep her company. But she knows as well that it’s futile anyways now that she can feel the familiar strong presence of someone striding closer to her spot.

 

Tobin chugs her beer, long and clumsily. She definitely needs to drown her system with alcohol tonight, and most definitely a lot stronger than beer.

 

A firm hand wraps around her bottle and slowly takes it from her own grip. She lifts her chin staring up at Christen who’s sipping from her bottle, her sloppy green eyes looking down intensely at Tobin. Christen hands it back to her, light and empty.

 

“God, Tobey, that was refreshing," The dark haired girl takes the empty seat that’s been vacated by Pinoe. She tucks a few strands of her unruly curls that are blocking her face at the back of her ears.

 

“Don't..." Tobin stops halfway from calling out Christen for using that horrible nickname. She intends to have as short and dull interaction with the woman tonight as possible and avoid exchange of unnecessary conversation. 

 

Tobin cranes her neck to check on Allie and Syd. She’s hoping that the gesture will send a hint to the girl beside her that her presence is not welcomed. That she is not interested with anything that has to do with her at the moment. 

 

Tobin scans the room further, stretching her neck a little too much, her ass now already half elevated from the couch. To her misfortune, her friends are no longer in the room nor in sight. 

 

_I’m going to kill them both._

 

She slouches back on the cushion and digs out her phone from the side pocket of her ripped jeans. She navigates through her contacts and sends her friends an SOS, letting them know she's in trouble.

 

“Tobin…” The tan girl calls from her side.

 

“Mmm?” Tobin hums but doesn’t divorce her face from her phone screen. She scrolls down hastily and finds Ash’s number.

 

Tobin: Dude where the hell are you? 

 

Tobin: Code Red 

 

Tobin: Get me out from here hurry 

 

“Tobin can you please..." Another call, this time with a tug on the hem of her white shirt and a hint of annoyance in her tone.

 

“Yeah, yeah, I hear you just give me a se—” Tobin doesn't finish. Strong slender fingers snatch her phone from her hands in a swift, cutting her mid-sentence.

 

“What the fuck?” She glares at the woman furiously. “Christen, give it back. Now!” Tobin demands, stretching her arm forward, a poor attempt at retrieving her phone from the culprit.

 

“Not until you pay attention to me," Christen hides the phone behind her back. Every time Tobin surges forward, she leans away so the brunette can’t get a hold on the device. "Tobin, what's wrong with you tonight?"

 

“No, what’s wrong with you? That’s my phone, Christen!” She utters out frustratedly, her voice a notch higher now than seconds ago, "And I'm perfectly fine, by the way."

 

“I’ll only hand this back under one condition," Christen states imperatively. Like it’s already a done deal and there’s nothing Tobin can do more to bargain but comply to her demand.

 

Tobin breathes out deep, knowing fully well that there’s no more point on exerting more energy and fight the other woman over this one. That Tobin is left with no choice but compliance. Until now she still ends up granting what Christen tells her to do.

 

“Fine, what is it? Hurry I don’t have the whole night," She takes her snapback off and runs her fingers through her shiny, brown hair. An indication of her building stress and discomfort.

 

Christen scoffs, “What, you have someone else new waiting for you?”

 

The playful banter rubs Tobin in the wrong way. It irks her inside. She’s used to bantering with their friends. Used to them calling her with terrible nicknames: Tobito, Toboggan, Tobernacle, Tomato, Tootsie Roll, Tobey Tubbies, etc. So used to their friends pissing her off. But she refuses having it with Christen tonight. She will let anybody else mock her at the moment but the woman sitting next to her.

 

Tobin sighs deeply. She shuts her eyes close and tries to even her breathing. Wanting nothing else but clear her mind and calm herself down from the impending outburst that's boiling inside her chest. The past month has been a roller coaster ride of emotions. She has been thinking a lot and sleeping less. Her days have been agonizing but nothing compared to her nights. At least school stuff and final exams occupy her during day time. Friends are there to accompany her. The real torture comes when she’s alone at nights in her room, on her half empty, cold bed. When memories start being reminisced and when it’s only her and her unsaid and hidden feelings come face to face with each other. That’s when the real agony of Tobin Heath comes at her.

 

But Tobin is not alone tonight. She’s in their sem-ender party. The biggest party before everybody takes the summer off. She’s surrounded with people. She’s not left alone with her emotions to deal with.

 

 _Except that the cause of your demons is sitting next to you. The reason why you have nightmares at nights and stained pillows in the morning._

 

A small voice at the back of her mind reminds her. She shakes this small voice off. Because no, she’s not gonna let Christen know that piece of information. She’s not gonna let her know that she has this magnitude of effect on her. She’s not gonna let her in again and know Tobin deep down. She’s going to show her that she can handle herself and her emotions. That she’s dealing with this fairly as well as the green-eyed woman.

 

“Maybe…” _Lie._ Tobin shrugs her shoulder nonchalantly and places her SnapBack back to its rightful place— at the top of her head. Looking cool and chill and confident for the first time in the party. She wills herself to show the most genuine and biggest smile on her face she can muster to fake and winks at Christen who seems caught off guard. 

 

“Oh, is she…is she the one you’re texting with?” Christen stutters a little, her fingers start fidgeting at the end of Tobin's phone.

 

Tobin swears for a second she saw panic and concern in Christen’s pair of green orbs before the woman tears her gaze away from the brunette and scans the room as well.

 

“Is she here? Are you meeting someone?” She continues, her tone hollow and low.

 

_Oh, now you care._ Tobin internally smirks and taps herself at the back. _Well done, Heath. Well, done._ Sometimes it feels good to be on the upper hand of the situation. When it’s you who has a person’s feelings at the tip of your fingertips.

 

Tobin coughs purposely, dragging the dark haired girl’s attention back to her, “The condition, what is it? I really need my phone now.”

 

Christen drops her head and takes a long, heavy breath before meeting her eyes again. Silence engulfs them for a moment despite the blasting music in the background and chatters of people in the room.

 

“Why are you avoiding me?” Christen finally coaxes out. There it is again, that look. But unlike a while ago, this time Tobin is hundred percent positive Christen is looking at her with anxious and concerned eyes. 

 

“I’m not," She coldly replies. _Lie._ She picks up the beer bottle at her foot to make her cool, unaffected façade more convincing but she realizes the bottle is empty and remembers Christen drank every drop of the liquid.

 

She hears Christen scoffs.

 

“What?” She wills herself to lock eyes with the beautiful woman in front of her.

 

“That’s bullshit Tobin. We both know you are," There’s a stronger bite now in her tone, a hint of disappointment and irritation coating her sweet voice.

 

"I've been texting you but got no response. Thought you didn't have your phone but guess what, your eyes were on your phone this whole time texting god knows who. I even waved you to come over when I saw you coming in but you pretended like you didn't see me." 

 

“Christen, I’m not. I swear. Look, I’m in this party with our—my friends. I will be traveling and won’t be seeing some of them for months until classes start again. So I’m just trying to enjoy the night with them, okay? I'm sorry if it gave you the wrong idea." 

 

"You were sitting here alone," Christen points out.

 

"Pinoe was here. We were having a very productive adult conversation. She only left when she saw you coming," Tobin reasons. 

 

"You and Meghan, in a productive adult conversation. Right," Christen rolls her eyes mockingly. 

 

“Whatever, are you done? Cos I really need my phone back." 

 

"Don't you think I also want to spend time with you before the break?" Her voice is low and a little more calmed down.

 

Tobin sighs. This night is getting exhausting, "Honestly, I don't know." 

 

Tobin sees a familiar face from one of her classes and hops off from her spot, blocking the drunk guy’s way. “Hey man, are these still good?” She points at the two red solo cups in his hand. The guy only nods, confusion plastered on his face.

 

“Thanks, dude! I owe you," Tobin taps him by the shoulder and smiles, grabbing the cups from his grip. The guy scratches the back of his neck and smiles back. Not really sure what has just happened.

 

“Yer welcome…” He mumbles before walking away to the direction of the kitchen.

 

Tobin drops back on the couch. She takes a sip off the cup, flinching a little bit from the bitter taste of a warm beer.

 

“You want some?” She doesn't know why but she offers the other cup to Christen whose gaze never leaves her.

 

“No…no actually yes," Christen grabs the cup and chugs it down, emptying the container in one swift motion.

 

Tobin swallows hard at the sight and chugs her beer as well. _God she’s hot._ The woman is too tempting. Tobin just wants to lick off the trail of beer that has spilled over the side of her mouth down to her neck.

 

She mentally scolds herself. _Dammit Tobin! Stop fantasizing!_

 

“Thanks, Tobey,” Christen hands Tobin back the empty cup. 

 

Tobin takes it and stacks it with hers, putting them down next to her feet on the wooden floor.

 

“Ugh, don’t call me that. You know I hate that nickname,” Tobin protests.

 

“That’s exactly the point, Toooobeeey,” Christen enunciates every syllable of her nickname ever slowly and smiles at her playfully.

 

_Ugh why is she so darn cute?......Oh boy, I'm in trouble._  

 

 

“She sent me an SOS and won’t get my calls,” Ash pushes through the sea of bodies dancing and grinding against each other in the living room.

 

“Dude, chill, she’s fine. It’s not like I left her in a dark alley or something. She’s just with Christen,” Pinoe follows suit after the inked hottie.

 

“That’s what I’m worried about. Her, Christen, and alcohol don’t go well easy with each other,” Ash emerges from the crowd in one piece and silently thank god for the cold air coming from the AC. The living room might as well be hell as it’s steaming with sex, booze, and body heat. 

 

"Dude, I know you're dumb sometimes and I'm not judging you but do I have to remind you again what happened last—"

 

The shorthaired hottie with sleeve inks to die for on both arms halts on her track as she finally spots Tobin on the couch and just like what Pinoe has said, she has someone to accompany her.

 

Pinoe’s face hits against Ash’s back from her sudden inability to move.

 

“Ouch! Dude what the fu—” Pinoe’s mouth hangs wide open as they both stare at the view on the couch.

 

“They’re talking,” Pinoe mumbles. “Like real talking and not shouting at each other. While drinking. Wow.”

 

“I know. I can see them,” Ash quips back. Still pissed that her friend left the two alone, unsupervised.

 

“Maybe her, Christen, and alcohol do mix well easy now,” Pinoe smirks, tapping Ash by the shoulder, “Let’s go. The kids seem to be doing alright.”

 

“I don’t know maybe I should…”

 

Their eyes grow wide as Tobin offers Christen a red solo cup, Christen taking it and saying thanks. It wasn’t like a few days ago these two were blasting at each other’s throats and calling the other names. Both highly intoxicated and uncontrollable after consuming too much alcohol.

 

“They’re just drinking beer?” Ash mumbles more to herself than to her friend at her side.

 

“Yeah, I guess so,” Pinoe confirms.

 

“I think they can handle beer. Fine, let’s go,” They turn their heels around and leave their friends to talk.

 

 

 

“So, why are you avoiding me?” Christen starts again, catching her off guard.

 

“You won't let this die down, will you? Christen, I’m not—” She wants to say the same excuse again but Christen cuts her off.

 

“Come on, be honest. I’m not just talking about tonight. You’ve been avoiding me since the last time we—”

 

“Isn’t this what you wanted?” Tobin spits out. She doesn’t like the bitterness in her tone. The vulnerability and the hurt evident in her shaky voice.

 

“You avoiding me? Like I have some plague? No. Never.”

 

“What do you expect? You wanted space. You said you want time on your own. I’m just respectfully giving you what you were asking,” Tobin dejectedly reminds her.

 

“Yes but this…” She points at them back and forth, “This feels different. I don’t want you to…I don’t want this…I don’t want to…” For the first time, Christen sounds so unsure and small under Tobin's gaze.

 

_Just say it. Say you were wrong._

 

“You don’t want what, Christen?” She scoots closer to the other woman whose trembling hands continue to fidget at the top of her thighs.

 

“Tell me,” Their knees are touching and it ignites bolts of electricity in Tobin’s spine.

 

_Just tell me. Tell me you’ve changed your mind. That this is all a mistake._

 

Christen reaches to cup her face. She lets her thumb run along Tobin’s cheekbone, soothing her. Tobin leans in to the touch. It's been a while. She can feel her walls slowly melting down. Oh God knows she misses this. The intimacy, the warmth of her skin against hers.

 

Christen closes her eyes, breaking their eye contact.

 

“Just stop avoiding me, okay?” She drops her hand that’s touching Tobin and starts toying at the hem of the mini black dress she’s wearing for the night.

 

 _It's unfair._

 

Tobin doesn't speak though. She remains silent and broken inside. Because when it comes between her and Christen, nothing is really fair. It has always been as it is.

 

“When are you leaving?” Christen continues calmly, like her heart isn’t beating insanely against her chest. 

 

Tobin stares at the woman incredulously. The moment is lost. The spell has been broken. Christen feels far again, out of her reach. Once again Tobin feels short-changed, played at, rejected.

 

“I don’t know. You booked the tickets so I have no idea. I haven’t checked them yet," Suddenly the room feels too hot and humid for normal breathing.

 

Christen nods, “I didn’t get the early flights that I’m sure of. A little consideration to someone who’s extra grumpy in the morning.” Christen chuckles.

 

“Can you say my regards to Katie? Tell her I’m really happy for her. I, umm, I don’t think she got my messages,” She continues when Tobin doesn’t react to her friendly banter.

 

_She still sends messages to my sister?_

 

“Mmm…” Tobin only hums. Her throat is too dry for speaking. She doesn’t think she’ll be able to utter words without cracking her voice. It’ll totally give her cover away, if she hasn’t already a few minutes ago.

 

She feels the cushion move and dips further to her side. Christen leans forward and drops a soft kiss on her cheek. The touch of her lips on her skin sets Tobin afire. She can feel the heat creeping across her face down to her neck. She reaches for Christen’s waist but just as her fingertips ghost the fabric of her dress, Christen rises from the couch and gets on her feet.

 

“I’ll see you later,” Christen doesn’t even wait a second for Tobin to come up with a response. The green-eyed woman carefully puts Tobin's phone on her lap and briskly strides to the depths of the room until her retreating figure isn’t visible to Tobin anymore.

 

Tobin doesn’t see her again that night at the party. She’s conflicted, not sure whether she should be bothered or feel relieved at the absence of the woman. All she knows though is that the night is still young and it will be such a shame if she spoils their last party before the break pining over someone.

 

 

“Dude, stop moping! She’s not worth it! It’s the last day of the semester. We’ll be all sophomores after this. Let’s get wasted!” Ash shouts while holding a shot glass on her right hand, the other one, wrapping Tobin by the neck, giving her a smothering side-hug.

 

Tobin’s face spreads into a wide grin. She’s grateful for her friends in moments like this. She doesn’t think she’d be able to survive the past month all alone and without them.

 

She snatches the shot of tequila from Ash’s hand, “One year down, three more years to go!” Tobin yells out loud. She hears her friend’s cheer and roar as she pours the shot down her throat and savors its burning sensation.

 

 

Tobin mounts the final floor to her room. She’s a little tipsy. Her eyes feel heavy and her legs are wobbly but she’s used to doing the task in a drunk state, only this time, she’s alone. Usually, a particular person would help her climb the stairs and make it to the bed alive and in one piece.

 

Her and her friends had gone house hunting on the last week of their first semester in college, just after they all took their finals. They all agreed that the dorm, though cheaper and closer to their class buildings, was too tough and rigid for their likeness. They had to follow curfews, visiting rules, they couldn’t throw parties, and just be normal noisy freshmen because the dorm manager would be on their necks the next day. So when they found this ideal apartment that suited all their expectations and demands (within their budget and inside the campus), they immediately grabbed the opportunity and never looked back.

 

Their apartment has three floors. Syd occupies one of the two rooms on the first floor. The other is Allie’s just across the hall. Ash rooms on the second floor but rarely frequents in the apartment. Most of the time she stays at her girlfriend's just a few blocks away. Across Ash's is Pinoe’s. The third floor has two rooms as well. One is Tobin’s, the other Christen’s.

 

Tobin squints her eyes in the hallway. It usually takes time for her eyes to adjust in the dark. She successfully reaches outside her door anyways. She grips the knob and twists it only to realize it’s closed.

 

“Fuck!” She curses under her breath.

 

She hastily taps her pockets, feeling for her keys. “Where the fuck did I put those fuckers? They were just here!”

 

“Tobin?” A soft, familiar, sweet voice cuts through the darkness.

 

“Uh, yes? Are you my guardian angel? Or my conscience?” Tobin chuckles at her own lame attempt to be funny.

 

“Ha ha ha funny, did you lose your keys again?” Christen moves forward, inching closer to her, only stopping when she's realized she’s just a foot away from the brunette. “I’ve told you a thousand times where your spare keys are. Do you ever listen?”

 

Tobin catches her breath and zones out. Christen smells like her favorite vanilla scent bathwash. It’s engulfing the entire hallway and overwhelming her senses.

 

_Fuck, she’s showered. Freshly showered. Tobin what the fuck! You’re not going there. You’re just drunk and she’s just freshly showered and smells really good. I wanna—"_

 

“Move aside,” Christen commands, breaking her internal battle and lusting. But Tobin doesn’t budge to make way for the dark haired girl. “Okay, they’re in that bowl to your left,” She instructs but Tobin remains motionless, still enthralled by the scent that’s doing things to her at the moment.

 

“Are you that wasted?” Christen takes one step closer and reaches over to take the keys out of the bowl.

 

The close proximity wakes Tobin up from her trance and she involuntarily jerks away from the other woman.

 

“No, I’m not and I don’t need your help.”

 

Christen fishes out the keys and unlocks Tobin’s door, “Still avoiding me, huh? I wonder how long you can keep this up.”

 

Tobin rolls her eyes. She’s too worn out for this. Other than finding a way to appease the pool of desire starting to build between her thighs, she just wants to crush on her bed and call it a night. She moves pass the other girl who’s just in her large high school shirt and nothing else on down below.

 

“For as long as it takes, perhaps.” Tobin mumbles to herself, not realizing Christen can very well hear from her spot.

 

She switches the lamp on on the study table to avoid stumbling over the ocean of scattered stuff on the floor.

 

“Tobin…” She feels a firm hand grip on her arm and hears the door slammed behind, too loud that she’s afraid it might have woken up and alarmed their roommates. Tobin turns around and is met with pleading eyes, “Don’t do that. Don’t push me away.”

 

“I’m not,” Tobin quips quickly to her defence. 

 

“Yes you are. Please stop," Christen pleads. “I don’t want us to be like this.”

 

“Chris, I don’t know want, too.”

 

 A few beats of silence engulfs them. The room suddenly feels hot.

 

“You've showered,” Tobin whispers in the thickening air. Her voice low and soft.

 

"Uh, yeah," Christen bites down on her lower lip. Her eyes still captivating despite the poor lighting in the room.

 

“You smell really good,” Tobin continues. Her foggy mind now taking over the conversation.

 

“Really?” Christen dares, stepping closer.

 

“Really,” She states with conviction. "I love it."

 

"Thanks," 

 

"I miss it,"

 

Their eyes locked on each other. Dilated golden brown to deep green. 

 

"Tobin..." Christen inches to her and grabs the back of her neck, closing the gap between them and crushing their lips against each other.

 

Tobin should have protested. She should have pushed her away and break the contact. But Tobin didn’t. Instead, she returns the same intensity Christen is putting on into the kiss. Because for one last try she wants to give this a chance. Hanging on again to that sliver of hope that maybe this time, this is different.

 

She pulls her in by the hips and guides her to the center of the room.

 

“Fuck, I missed you,” Christen breathes out when their mouths break a part for a second needing to gasp for air.

 

Tobin attacks the length of Christen’s neck, biting and licking across her collar bones and finding Christen’s pulse point, sucking on it. She intends to leave as dark and as visible marks as possible, ones that would remind Christen the next morning about what they are about to do tonight.

 

The deep and guttural moan coming from the writhing woman spur Tobin on. She slides her hand down to the hem of Christen’s shirt, sneaking through under it and squeezing her firm ass. Christen gasps at the added sensation. Tobin, bolden, dips her fingers along the channel of Christen’s ass until her fingertips feel the familiar spot that she’s missed touching.

 

“Fuck!” Christen throws her head back. She instinctively wraps a leg around Tobin’s torso, giving her more access.

 

With the new given angle, Tobin runs her fingers along Christen’s folds torturously, “You’re so fucking wet.”

 

“Tobin, please, bed!” Christen begs desperately to which Tobin gladly grants.

 

She scoops Christen from the floor as their mouths find each other again. She pulls her head back for a moment. They are only illuminated by the faint sunset-like orange light coming from her lamp. It’s not too much to brighten the entire room but she can clearly see the beauty in front of her, appreciate it at its finest.

 

Christen’s head is thrown back, eyes shut tight close, lips ajar while mumbling incoherent words that to Tobin’s ears sound like prayers and adoration. Tobin’s skilled fingers add pressure against Christen’s core. The prayers grow louder and Christen’s hands weaved through Tobin’s hair become more needy.

 

Tobin’s kneecaps hit the edge of the bed. Finally they have arrived to their destination. She lays Christen down carefully and towers over her.

 

Christen pops herself up with her elbows.

 

“You’re wearing too much clothes,” She whines.

 

Christen pushes herself forward and tugs on the hem of her shirt and pulls it off, exposing her breasts and erect nipples and glistening folds. 

 

Tobin’s tongue wets her lips at the sight before her. She instinctively reaches over and cups a breast, swiping her thumb across one nipple.

 

“You’re so beautiful,” She pulls her hand and steps back.

 

Christen’s eyes grow wide in panic, “Wait, where are you—”

 

She’s cut off though when Tobin pulls her shirt off and starts to undress in front of her until she’s only in her boxers and sports bra that leave little to her imagination.

 

“Take them all off,” Christen demands. “I don’t want them in the way.”

 

Tobin discards the remaining articles of clothing that’s covering her body. A smirk appears on her face when Christen pulls her by the hips, too eager to wait.

 

“Come over here,” Tobin bends down and slots herself between Christen’s spread legs. She captures her mouth and sucks on her tongue. She lets herself get caught up again in this addiction called Christen Press.

 

They take turns pleasing each other. Moans and grunts escape their lips, names are called in the air along with the frequent prayers of Oh My God’s and Holy shits as they both experience heaven. Both of them not even caring to be decently quiet enough to spare their roommates down below from overhearing them pleasuring each other.

 

 

Tobin is catching her breath. It’s hard to when her heart is pounding uncontrollably in her chest. She turns her face to her left. Christen mirrors her, chest heaving, breaths labored. Only difference is her eyes are shut closed.

 

Tobin thinks, she’s prettiest after sex. When the after glow illuminates her entire face. Tobin’s heart beats even faster, this time for a different reason. It’s not because she’s just had sex with the most beautiful woman she has ever laid her eyes on. Her heart is beating wild because…

 

“Christen, I lo—” Christen leans forward and shuts her mouth up with a searing kiss.

 

“I have an early flight later,” Christen pops her eyes open and smiles against the kiss, “I gotta go.” She pushes herself up then and hops off the bed, getting up on her feet and starts looking for her shirt somewhere in the room.

 

“Where did I throw it?” She’s more like asking herself than Tobin.

 

Tobin pops herself on the bed with her elbows. She watches as Christen finally finds her shirt a few seconds later and hastily puts it on. This is not new. It has been a familiar sight for a month now.

 

Christen walks over by the side of the bed and leans down, planting a soft kiss on Tobin’s cheek.

 

“Thank you,” She whispers against Tobin’s still flushed skin.

 

Tobin cups her face to make her stay in place. She doesn't wanna let go. Doesn't want this night to end, “Still broken up?”

 

Christen kisses her lips this time, “Yup, still broken up.”

 

Christen straightens up and walks to the door. Tobin bores her gaze at the back of Christen’s head, willing her to look back and turn around and stay in bed with her this time. But Tobin remains watching as Christen twists the knob and pulls the door open. She watches as Christen’s figure leaves the room without so much of a glance back at her. 

 

Christen is walking away from her, the second time over the night. A sight that shouldn’t have surprised her anymore. She has walked out of her life a few many times. This one is no different.

 

Right then Tobin has realised nothing has changed.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, let me know what you think. Should I continue or dump this garbage and focus more instead on my other fics?


End file.
